Come on! You gotta admire the Head of the Tuition centre in Kepong, in a story in the Penang Sun today. Backed firmly up against the blackboard amidst allegations of the sexual harassment of a 13 year old boy, he has come up with a magisterial defence. Irresistible.
We live in a culture out here where people tickle the stomach of the lardy laughing Buddha on the way out to work hoping to engender wealth. They love a flutter. So how can you turn porn in to a winning streak.? Read on
'At a press conference last week, the boy, accompanied by his parents, related how the Head of the Tuition centre, while sending him home after a tuition at 11 a.m, took him to his house on the pretext of getting his wallet.' (Yeah, Right. Forgot your wallet. Right. I'm sort of OK with that.)
'While there, the boy said the man told him adult stories, asked him to pull his pants tights to show the outline of his private parts and told him to take a shower and masturbate , (more tea vicar?) Which he avoided pretending he was sick' (Smart kid, one should always have an off games note handy - preferably in your back pocket)
OK.! Here comes the defence! The jury are going to suck this up.
The Head of the Tuition centre said ' he was trying to enlighten the boy on sex as he had discovered that his charge was not paying attention in class and he believed he was bothered by questions about sex.' (Well it is bothering isn't it? Sex. Very bothering, if you can be bothered)
'He said he asked the boy to pull the pants tight like he did to show the latter the difference between a boy's private parts and those of an adult.' (Mmm... OK, pretty grisly but OK.)
'He said he did asked (sic) the boy to wash his face in the bathroom but the boy mistook him' ( case for defence gets a wee bit creaky here - no matter - press on)
'However, the man admitted he had wished the boy would take a shower in his home,' (coming clean now!) 'believing it would bring him luck as the last time someone took a both and masturbated in his bathroom, he struck first prize in 4D.'
Well thats worth a shot isn't it?
But 4D? D? Some duffer clearly needs to spend a lot more time in the bathroom