The Rubber Solution

I had a variously hilarious and touching Deepavali encounter with a huge Indian family in their tiny apartment, (11 children and 12 grandchildren), last Thursday. The mother of all this lot, Ratha, rather took to me and dragged me off to her tiny broom cupboard, which is also her prayer room and shrine.. We knelt down in front of a large elephant with a hat on and rather too many limbs, and she prayed for me (very earnestly I thought) and anointed me with a little dot of henna between my eyes. (Well, better than a bullet any day of the week). A wonderful woman, who was was sold at 16 into an abusive marriage to a much older man who beat her.. He died last year and everyone was VERY glad. Ratha now leads a spiritual life ( well what other option to these poor women have ) and has been to India and found a guru who (has taught her meditation. She is certainly one of the most serene people I have ever met. Tiny with these long slender brown arms. . Did she work out? "Oh no' says the interpreter," that's rubber tapping". As a six year old child she worked in the rubber plantations tapping for rubber. It strengthens the arms. I do think they ought to introduce Celebrity Rubber Tapping , It'd save a fortune on those gyms and do a bit for the Fetherlite industry at the same time. The Rubber Solution to beautiful arms.
Speaking of which, I read in The Sun today that the Chinese are recycling used condoms into hairbands.
Now that's a bad hair day in my book.