Coming out of the Gleneagles Medical Centre today I was approached by two beaming young Buddhist monks who thrust a sort of shiny card in my hand and then started to force me to look at this horrid book of runes. I was so tired from my route march down the Burma road from the bank that I just said" no! no ! can't stop!' and returning their card , chugged off.
EXIT NORTON PURSUED BY MONKS!!
I have never been chased by monks before. Maybe they were just going my way but I felt I was being pursued and bolting across the road landed in a quag on the other side. Up to my ankles in filthy water. I had to slosh across to the Gurney hotel to sluice down my shoes and feet in the lavs . Bloody monks, fucking ruined my favourite shoes. I've had it up to here with Buddhism. I am well aware that I probably fell into the quag because I would not look at their rotten book, and it was my destiny and divine retribution according to the orange brigade, but in the meantime they can all take their wretched begging bowls somewhere else as far as I am concerned.
I had to buy new shoes at the Gurney!!!.
(They are lovely, backless, grey and pointy medieval , so am well on my way to forgiveness..)